Acceptance vs Control Debate

This episode of Disordered examines the fundamental "Golden Rules" of anxiety desensitization. Josh and Drew break down two core principles designed to guide long term desensitization for those struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and health anxiety. They move away from promising cures or quick fixes, focusing instead on changing the listener's relationship with discomfort.

• Rule One: Do what non-anxious you would do while anxious. The guys explain that this involves engaging in life tasks regardless of the presence of fear.

• Rule Two: Don’t make anxiety the most important thing in the room. While anxiety is allowed to be present, it should not sit at the top of the decision making tree. Desensitization happens when values and intentions are prioritized over the urge to monitor internal feelings.

• Acceptance vs. Control: Josh and Drew discuss the necessity of recognizing that attempts to control or escape anxiety are often ineffective. They advocate for psychological flexibility, where a person learns to be with difficult internal experiences rather than fighting them.

• The Power of Agency: The guys emphasize that even in highly sensitized states, individuals retain agency over their attention. They describe how to tolerate physical symptoms without letting those sensations govern behavior.

• "Did It Anyway" Stories: The episode features community members who applied these rules during high stakes moments like public speaking or travel. These stories serve to encourage others to face fears that are uncomfortable but not dangerous.

Josh and Drew frame desensitization as a journey requiring patience and persistence rather than a destination reached through "hacks" or secret solutions. This episode provides a practical framework for listeners ready to stop avoiding their feelings and start moving forward.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.