Ten Epstein years verse

A holiday classic, Bulwark-style. From foreign jets to fake honors, we rewrote The 12 Days of Christmas to keep track of Trump’s greatest hits in 2025.

The 12 Days of Grift-mas, annotated:

1 giant Qatari jet: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwy5lp4v594o

2 peace awards: FIFA Peace Prize (https://www.thebulwark.com/p/screw-it-lets-rename-the-moon-trump-institute-of-peace-kennedy-center-coin-epsitein-files) and the Nixon Foundation Architect of Peace Award (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-architect-of-peace-award-nixon-foundation/)

3 Olympic medals: from the LA Olympic Committee (https://www.whitehouse.gov/videos/president-trump-has-been-awarded-a-full-set-of-1984-olympic-medals-%F0%9F%8F%85%F0%9F%87%BA%F0%9F%87%B8/)

4 Four Rush-Hour films:  Recently promised by Paramount, which wants Trump to approve a merger with Warner Bros. Discovery (https://www.thebulwark.com/p/jackie-chan-sequel-rush-hour-4-says-whole-lot-trump-economy)

5 golden trophies: A golden plaque from Apple (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/08/07/tim-cook-trump-gift/85555805007/), a golden pager from Netanyahu (https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/06/middleeast/netanyahu-trump-golden-pager-intl/index.html), the FIFA Club World Cup trophy (https://people.com/trump-pockets-fifa-medal-club-world-cup-11774149), World Boxing Council BC boxing belt from Ukraine (https://www.si.com/fannation/boxing/ukraine-president-zelensky-boxing-gift-that-didnt-land-with-trump), and a golden crown from South Korea (https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/29/world/asia/trump-south-korea-crown-gyeongju.html)

6 golfing wins: At his own clubs, naturally (https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/sports/2025/08/05/donald-trump-golf-tournament-championship/85516763007)

7 pretty portraits: Saudi (https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-insane-gifts-saudi-arabia-gave-president-trump/), El Salvador (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/21/world/americas/trump-painting-missing.html), 2 from Russia (https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/22/style/russian-artist-trump-portrait-putin-intl and https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/22/us/politics/trump-putin-photo.html), Australia (https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gifted-least-3-portraits-himself-foreign-leaders-2019-1616322), Egypt (https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gifted-least-3-portraits-himself-foreign-leaders-2019-1616322), Vietnam (https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gifted-least-3-portraits-himself-foreign-leaders-2019-1616322?utm_source)

8 foreign honors: Georgia, Saudi Arabia, Kosovo, Morocco, UAE, Egypt, Israel, South Korea (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_awards_and_honors_received_by_Donald_Trump#International)

9 postage stamps: From Poland (https://oversightdemocrats.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/democrats-oversight.house.gov/files/Foreign%20Gifts%20Appendix%20I%20-%20Trump.pdf)

10 Epstein years: “I was Donald’s closest friend for 10 years” - Jeffrey Epstein (https://docs.house.gov/meetings/JU/JU08/20250227/117951/HHRG-119-JU08-20250227-SD006-U6.pdf)

11 Nobel noms – Argentinian President Javier Millei, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Manet, U.S. Representative Buddy Carter, U.S. Rep. Anna Paulina Luna, Malta foreign minister, U.S. Rep. Darrell Issa, Pakistan, U.S. Rep Claudia Tenney, U.S. Rep. Bernie Moreno, Rwanda’s foreign minister

12 diet cokes: Trump reportedly drinks about a dozen per day (https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/09/us/politics/donald-trump-president.html)

Merry Christmas!