Notes From The Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Part I.
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The Disease of Consciousness
I am firmly persuaded that a great deal of consciousness, every sort of consciousness, in fact, is a disease. The more conscious I was of goodness, and of all that was sublime and beautiful, the more deeply I sank into my mire. It ended by my almost believing, perhaps actually believing, that this was perhaps my normal condition. But at first, in the beginning, what agonies I endured in that struggle, I did not believe it was the same with other people. All my life I hid this fact about myself as a secret. Even now, perhaps, I am ashamed.
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