I Was a White Girl, I Was White, I Liked It, but I Don't Know What to Do With It

As a first-generation immigrant in this country, Sam Louies identity and those of others like his was nuanced.  He explains that Yes we are “Americans” but we are Americans with cultural and ancestral ties elsewhere.  And not just elsewhere in a vague kind of way like, “Well, I think I’m a mix of Irish and Scottish” but in a very tangible and direct link to my ethnic heritage, immigration story, along with the language, customs, and worldviews passed down through the generations.  Consequently, our identities are intertwined to the country we live in, our country of origin, those of our colonizers, or a combination of those.  But the external pressure of assimilation has been one where I’ve been asked to strip myself of my past understanding of self and prove my allegiance to this country by simplifying my identity as one of just, “American”.  The implicit mainstream message was that the pathway to citizenship, acculturation, and acceptance in this country was the adoption of patriotism to the degree that the only color accepted was red, white, and blue oozing out of my pores.  But in doing so, I betrayed what it truly means to be American in my eyes while also betraying my ancestral roots. Listen as Sam explains how racism and culturism affected him and his addiction with Carol the Coach