Milgram's Subway Experiment and Asking

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

#274: Heidi Grant - How To Get People To Help You (Reinforcements)

The Learning Leader Show

"It's not about being good. It's about being better. Be in a constant state of continuous improvement."

Show Notes:

• Commonalities of sustaining excellence:
  • "All management is change management"
  • "What's made you successful in the past may not be the case in the future."
  • "How can I learn to be a better leader?'
  • "A constant state of continuous improvement"
  • "You've never arrived."
• "It' not about being good. It's about being better."
• "Focus on getting better, rather than being good."
• Growth mindset helps you find enjoyment in what you do
• "Focus on what you will do, not what you won't"
• Willpower -- Need to be specific. Get to a level of specificiaty
• Make steady progress
  • "Have realistic optimism. I will succeed, but it will be hard."
• How to define success?
  • Intrinsic vs extrinsic goals:
    • A connected-ness to other people
    • Autonomy - Do what feels authentic
    • Being effective - Inherently get satisfaction by "I'm making things by making things happen in the world"
    • "Human beings are wired to to want to feel effective" -- It creates lasting happiness
• Balance - Fundamental things stand in our way. "We all have issues with not being great at everything."
• Why don't we ask others for help when we need it? The Milgrim subway experiement
• What does a helper need from you?
  • Must ask and help the helper be successful
• Why we need to eliminate the phrase "Can I pick your brain?"
  • Just say what you want. Be direct.
  • Send questions in advance. Create opportunities for helpers to be effective
• "When you ask someone for help, you're giving them the opportunity to feel amazing"
• Reinforcements - Extra personnel sent to increase the strength of an army or similar force --> Something that makes a behavior more likely
• Why joining The Learning Leader Circle is a good idea
• Use the "Get To Know You Document"

"When you ask someone for help, you're giving them the opportunity to feel amazing."

Social Media:

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• To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 216: Jim Collins -- How To Go From Good To Great

Episode 200: Keith Hawk & AJ Hawk -- Showing Up, Doing The Work, Earning Trust, Helping Others, Winning The Super Bowl, Celebrating #200

Episode 234: Jocko Willink -- Why Discipline Equals Freedom