New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Death isn't the most appetizing topic, but contemplating mortality can be a massive source of motivation, perspective, and even stress relief. In this episode, life lessons from a death doula, who helps people at the end.

Description:

There seems to be one clear bug in the human operating system — most of us do not like talking about death. Yet when we do talk about it, it can genuinely upgrade the quality of our lives.

Our guest today is Alua Arthur, a former attorney who is now what's called a death doula, which is someone who helps guide people through the end of their lives. Through this work, she has learned some extraordinary stuff about how to live life right now.

Alua is also the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization. Her debut memoir, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life By Getting Real About the End, will be released on April 16, 2024.

This conversation took place at the 2023 TED Conference in Vancouver, immediately after Alua delivered her triumphant talk, which is out now.

Special thanks to the TED Audio Collective. You can listen to Alua's talk and other TED talks on the TED Talks Daily podcast.

In this episode we talk about:

How death can be a powerful motivator
How consistently being aware that you're going to die can be a "stress reliever"
The utility of imagining your ideal death
Her view on reincarnation
How the concept of "healing" can sometimes be used as a weapon against ourselves
The importance of not leaving things unsaid
How "hope" at the end of life can sometimes be unhelpful
What surprises her about death
How her work helped her out of her depression
The five steps that you should take when confronting your own death
The harm that can sometimes result from too much medical intervention toward the end of life
The often fraught relationship that vulnerable and marginalized people can have with the medical community
The benefits of thinking about what version of yourself you want to meet on your deathbed
The death meditation that she uses when working with people
What to say and do when you are with somebody who is grieving
And a practice she calls, "The dying things exercise"

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/Alua-Arthur-archive

Where to find Alua Arthur online:

Website: goingwithgrace.com

Social Media:

Book Mentioned:

Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End

Other Resources Mentioned:

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

1/29/26: ICE Draws Down In MN, FBI Raids Fulton County Elections

Breaking Points with Krystal and Saagar

FBI Raid at Fulton County Elections Office

The AI-powered Podcast Player