Where Is Barry? — inspiration and creation

In this episode, I sit down with Joe Gatto — comedian, founding member of Impractical Jokers, author, and one of the most genuinely funny and surprisingly deep guys I've ever had on this show.

Yes, we laugh. A lot. But what surprised me most about this conversation is how quickly it got real. Joe lost his dad to pancreatic cancer at 19 years old — and watching his father face death with grace, humor, and a smile on his face left an imprint on Joe that shaped everything: the man he became, the dad he is today, and even the comedy career that followed.

We get into marriage and how humor can be the glue that holds a couple together through a tumultuous season — but also how humor can become a way to avoid the conversations that actually need to happen. Joe is honest that the last couple of years have been tough, and he talks about learning to know when it's time to stop laughing and start talking.

And Joe's kids' book — Where Is Barry? — gets the full story: how his son Remo losing his stuffed animal one night turned into a beautifully illustrated book about calming down, thinking logically, and handling life's little chaos moments.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities

[1:01] Introducing Joe Gatto — Impractical Jokers, touring comedian, author, and a guy who's way more real than you'd expect

[4:23] Growing up in Staten Island: big Italian family, big backyard, and a nerdy kid who quizzed his dad with encyclopedia multiple choice tests

[5:40] How comedy shaped Joe's childhood — Home Improvement, Mel Brooks, Jim Carrey, and movie nights with dad

[8:10] The relationship with his dad — and losing him to pancreatic cancer at just 19 years old

[10:00] His dad's response to the diagnosis: "Get a fake ID, we're going to Vegas"

[11:02] What it was like to be in the ambulance when his father passed — and the smile on his face at the very end

[13:16] Larry's reflection: "You had more of a dad in 19 years than a lot of men have in a lifetime"

[14:20] How Joe's dad shaped the comedian, the father, and the man he is today

[15:02] Joe's new tour Let's Get Into It — tracing his journey from a geeky kid with no friends to who he is now

[16:23] The iconic memory: dad comes home in a full suit, kids are in the pool — and he just jumps in

[17:21] How Joe recreated that exact moment for his own kids without even planning it

[18:36] What Joe's kids would say about him if you asked them without him in the room

[19:37] His 9-year-old daughter who wants to be a DJ — and why Joe said yes without hesitation

[20:06] His 7-year-old son who asks questions like "why is the middle finger bad?" — and how Joe handled it

[24:08] The origin story of Impractical Jokers — day jobs, a bartender, a firefighter, and four friends doing comedy for fun

[33:24] The important line: humor can hold you together, but there's a time to stop laughing and start talking

[35:09] Where Is Barry? — the children's book inspired by his son Remo losing his stuffed animal

[38:48] Joe's son's first reaction to the finished book: "Where's Milana? My sister should be in it too"

[39:25] Why Joe believes teaching kids to cope with adversity is the number one job of a parent

[41:22] Leading by example: how kids see everything, reflect everything, and learn how to handle life by watching you

[42:06] Separating emotion from response — and catching things when they're little, not when they're boulders

[42:43] Why Joe always apologizes to his kids — and why he never says "because I said so"

[47:05] Joe's advice: surround yourself with people who make you better, and be the person who brings others up

[48:19] On balance: it's impossible — just be where you are, and say yes to the five minutes that matter most

Five Key Takeaways

1. The moments your kids will remember forever aren't the big planned ones — they're the split-second decisions to jump in the pool in a full suit. Be present for the small moments.
2. Humor is a powerful connector in marriage and family — but it has to know its place. There's a time to laugh through things together and a time to put the jokes down and have the real conversation.
3. Teaching your kids to cope with adversity is the single most important job you have as a parent. Not grades. Not manners. Coping — because you won't always be there, but their ability to handle life will be.
4. Never say "because I said so." If you can't explain why you're making a decision, question whether you're making the right one. Kids deserve a reason, and giving one builds trust.
5. Balance is a myth. You can't do everything equally all the time. But you can be fully where you are — and say yes to the five minutes your kid is asking for, because those five minutes will be the best part of their day.

Links & Resources

• Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com
• Where Is Barry? by Joe Gatto — available on Amazon
• Follow Joe Gatto on Instagram: @joe_gatto
• Joe Gatto's website: https://www.joegattoofficial.com/
• Episode Link & Resources (Episode 491): https://thedadedge.com/491

Closing

If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: the moments that shape your kids forever are usually the ones you almost didn't take.

Joe Gatto watched his dad jump into a pool in a full suit on a summer evening — a split-second decision that Joe still talks about decades later. And without even thinking about it, Joe recreated that same moment for his own kids when they called him away from work. Three minutes. Full clothes. Right in.

That is the legacy. That is what your kids will tell their kids about.

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to show up, say yes when it counts, and teach them how to handle life when you're not around to help.

If this episode made you laugh and think — which it will — share it with a dad who needs both today.

Go out and live legendary.