Why scripts fail and practice wins

If you’ve ever avoided saying yes to something meaningful because you were waiting to feel less anxious or more “ready,” this episode is for you.

Cohosts Yael and Michael Herold sit down for a chat about his confidence-building online course and the misconceptions that keep people stuck, especially the idea that motivation and the “right mindset” must come first. 

You’ll hear how acceptance and commitment therapy reframes anxiety as a passenger you can bring along while you drive toward your values, why rigid social scripts don’t work, and how low-stakes “comfort zone challenges” (like lying down in public) help you practice courage, defuse unhelpful thoughts, and tolerate discomfort without real-world consequences.

Join Michael and Yael for lots of practical insight, humor, and a preview of tools that can help you step into the life you want.

Listen and Learn: 

• Why confidence isn’t built by fixing your mindset first, but by taking action on what matters
• Why you can’t learn confidence from scripts or perfect phrases, and confidence only develops through practice, not preparation
• How to step outside your comfort zone by practicing small, low-stakes challenges that reveal how thoughts and emotions create avoidance, and how to disarm them so you can act on what matters instead of defaulting to fear-based reactions
• Why worrying about annoying others can hold you back from confidence, and learning confidence means acting respectfully on what matters, even when that fear is present
• Comfort-zone challenges to expand confidence and even meaningfully change the direction of your life
• Building confidence through practical, real-world exercises with Michael’s course

Resources: 

• Michael’s Course: herold.coach/course

• Lilly and the Wildflowers:
• www.instagram.com/lilyandthewildflowers
• www.lilyandthewildflowers.com

About Michael Herold

Michael (he/him) is a confidence trainer and social skills coach, based in Vienna, Austria.  He’s helping his clients overcome their social anxiety through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and fun exposure exercises. (Though the jury is still out on whether they’re mostly fun for him). He is also a certified therapeutic game master, utilizing the Dungeons&Dragons tabletop roleplaying game to train communication, assertiveness, and teamwork with young adults. Or actually, anyone ready to roll some dice and battle goblins in a supportive group where players want to level up (pun!) their social skills. Michael is the head coach of the L.A. based company The Art of Charm, running their confidence-building program “Unstoppable” as well as workshops on small talk, storytelling, vulnerability, and more. He is the scientific advisor and co-producer of their large podcast with more than 250 million downloads. As a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS), Michael is the current President of the ACT Coaching Special Interest Group with nearly 1,000 coaches worldwide, and the co-founder of the ACT in Austria Affiliate of ACBS, a nationwide meetup for ACT practitioners in Austria. He’s a public speaker who has spoken at TEDx, in front of members of parliament, universities, and once in a cinema full of 500 kids high on sugary popcorn. In a previous life, he was a character animator working on award-winning movies and TV shows such as “The Penguins of Madagascar” and “Kung Fu Panda”. That was before he realized that helping people live a meaningful life is much more rewarding than working in the film business – even though the long nights in the studio allowed him to brew his own beer in the office closet, an activity he highly recommends. Michael grew up with five foster kids who were all taken out of abusive families. His foster sisters showed him how much positive change is possible in a person if they have the love and support they need.

Related Episodes

• 173. Confidence, Self-Doubt, and Overcoming Limitations with Michael Herold
• 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson
• 195. ACT Daily with Diana Hill and Debbie Sorensen

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