Spontaneity vs planning

You're in love. You're committed. So why does sex feel like it dropped off the priority list somewhere between laundry and meal prep? You're not broken — you're just busy, stressed, and maybe a little stuck in your head. In this live show, Dr. Emily answers your unfiltered questions about what happens when desire fades, how to talk to a partner who clams up about what they want, and why the "how often should we be having sex?" question is missing the point entirely.

This episode was recorded live across my social platforms at @sexwithemily — part of a new evolution of the show as we head into my 21st year of the podcast. After over two decades of talking about sex, I've learned that real, unscripted conversations create the deepest breakthroughs. You'll hear real questions, real interaction, and the energy of being live together as we explore how to build a sex life that actually feels good — without shame or judgment. Tune in most Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5 PM PST on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch all @sexwithemily.

You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!

In this episode, you'll learn: 

• Why "how often should we have sex?" is the wrong question — and what to ask instead 

• The three pleasure thieves silently wrecking your libido 

• How to help a shy partner open up about their desires (without making it awkward)

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to enrollment@sexwithemily.com to learn more! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

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This episode is sponsored by… 

Bathmate: 

Try the Bathmate Hydro Pump Today at bathmatedirect.com! Use code “SWE10” for a discount at checkout!

Timestamps:

0:00 - Introduction

3:04 - How often should couples have sex?

5:57 - Getting your partner to communicate about sex

8:39 - Do most couples talk about sex?

10:57 - Why your sex life shouldn't stay the same for decades

15:34 - Navigating intimacy with chronic illness

18:44 - Myth: Good sex should be spontaneous

21:06 - Myth: Orgasms are the ultimate goal

23:16 - Sex during pregnancy when your partner pulls back

26:57 - Dealing with early ejaculation

30:28 - Helping a stressed partner get in the mood

33:56 - Top sex toy recommendations

34:28 - Myth: Lube is only for older women

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