Asset Recovery and Lost Checks

You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001 BET Awards acceptance speech, a panel discussion on Taco Bell entitled, "Beans, Cheese, and Consequences," and a ceremonial burning of Katya's old hip. Attendees will encounter a tasteful lounge where retired wigs dispense movie reviews and gallon-jugs of iced coffee. The service will feature a eulogy by a Dunkin' Donuts cashier from Back Bay, culminating in the release of several doves that will immediately relieve themselves on Trixie and Katya's pink and crimson coffins. Formal mourning attire is required, though guests are strongly encouraged to incorporate elements of high camp, delusion, and inappropriate accessories that suggest you are in dire need of therapy.

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Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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