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Forget the questionable relationship advice from internet influencers. Today, we’re diving into the science of lasting love, fighting, and "red flags” to find out what really matters for a healthy relationship. We’ll find out what it means to fight well with your partner. And we’ll also look at the signs that a relationship might become dangerous or abusive. For all this, we speak with Professor Ben Karney, Dr. Megan Haselschwerdt, Dr. Elizabeth McLindon and Matt Brown.

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.7233 or www.thehotline.org

Find international resources and more at spotify.com/resources

Find our transcript here: https://bit.ly/ScienceVsIsYourRelationshipOK 

In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Influencers love giving advice

(02:36) How to have a ‘healthy fight’ 

(09:44) If you fight badly, will you get divorced? 

(13:55) What are ‘red flags’? 

(21:01) Red flags you should watch for

(28:23) Approaches to try to change abusive partners

(34:00) Why do people try to control their partners? 

(37:57) Can an abusive partner change? 

This episode was produced by Wendy Zukerman, with help from Michelle Dang, Meryl Horn, Rose Rimler, and Ekedi Fausther-Keeys. We’re edited by Blythe Terrell. Fact checking by Diane Kelly. Mix and sound design by Bobby Lord. Music written by Emma Munger, So Wylie, Peter Leonard, Bumi Hidaka and Bobby Lord. Thanks to our consultants Maya Serelis and Jess Hill. A special thanks to the researchers and folks working in the space of domestic violence that we spoke to including, Dr Áine Travers, Claire Marshall, Professor Sharon Dawe, Professor Kelsey Hegarty, Dr Franscesca Righetti, Dr Andrea Meltzer, Professor Amy Rauer, and Dr Amie Zarling. A big thanks to Joseph Lavelle Wilson and the Zukerman family. 

Science Vs is a Spotify Studios Original. Listen for free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us and tap the bell for episode notifications. 

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