Intro

Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most joyful milestones. But what happens psychologically, relationally, and neurologically during the transition into parenthood is far more complex — and far less discussed — than many clinicians realize.

In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, Bridger and Jen sit down with psychologist and EMDR consultant Dr. Nirit Gordon to explore the profound developmental, attachment-based, and trauma-related shifts that occur during the perinatal period. Drawing from feminist theory, attachment research, evolutionary anthropology, and clinical EMDR practice, this conversation reframes the transition to parenthood as a sensitive developmental stage comparable to adolescence — a time marked by identity reorganization, heightened emotional activation, relational stress, and the resurfacing of unresolved attachment wounds.

Together, we explore:

• Why perinatal mental health is one of the most under-recognized areas in trauma treatment
• How attachment memories and developmental trauma networks reactivate during pregnancy and early parenting
• The concept of matrescence and its implications for case conceptualization Why fathers and partners undergo neurobiological and hormonal shifts during early parenting
• How modern parenting culture conflicts with evolutionary caregiving needs
• The myth of constant parental attunement and what attachment research actually shows
• Birth trauma and systemic gaps in trauma-informed obstetric care Using babies as resources in EMDR therapy
• The clinical importance of including perinatal experiences in Phase 1 history taking How therapists can support identity transformation during early parenthood

This episode invites clinicians to expand their understanding of trauma, development, and relational memory — and to consider the perinatal period not simply as a life event, but as a critical neurobiological and psychological window for therapeutic intervention. Whether you work directly with parents or not, this conversation offers a powerful lens for understanding how attachment, trauma, and identity evolve across the lifespan.

To follow Nirit's work, check out her website at niritgordonphd.com and her training offerings at touchstoneinstitute.org

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