Viral local-club podcast idea and listener humour

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk about their commentary travels. Did John get his usual table in Madrid? Are English teams underperforming in the Champions League? The guys have their say on the Premier League title race and Igor Tudor still being at Tottenham Hotspur. Plus more unintended pub names, a royally good Clash of the Commentators and more of your Glossary terms and phrases. Messages, questions and voicenotes on WhatsApp to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

03:30 John’s special table in Madrid, 05:50 Have English teams underperformed in Champions League? 09:40 John’s Spanish sherry tip-off, 12:30 Will we get more singing on the pod? 15:45 5 Live commentaries this weekend, 20:45 Surprised Tudor is still at Spurs? 24:30 Ali makes fool of himself at Wrexham, 31:10 Unintended pub names, 35:35 Clash of the Commentators, 40:25 Great Glossary of Football Commentary.

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries: Sat 1500 Burnley v Bournemouth on Sports Extra with Ali Bruce-Ball & Leon Osman, Sat 1500 Sunderland v Brighton on Sports Extra 2, Sat 1730 Arsenal v Everton with Conor McNamara and Pat Nevin, Sat 1730 Chelsea v Newcastle on Sports Extra, Sun 1400 Man Utd v Aston Villa with John Murray & Dion Dublin, Sun 1400 Forest v Fulham on Sports Extra, Sun 1400 Palace v Leeds on Sports Extra 2, Sun 1415 Women’s League Cup Final Man Utd v Chelsea on Sports Extra 3, Sun 1630 Liverpool v Spurs with Vicki Sparks & Clinton Morrison.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary: DIVISION ONE Agricultural challenge, Back of the net, Back to square one, Booked, Bosman, Bullet header, Channel of joy, Coupon buster, Cruyff Turn, Cultured/educated left foot, Dead-ball specialist, Draught excluder, Elastico/flip-flap, False nine, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Grub hunter, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, In behind, Magic of the FA Cup, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Park the bus, Perfect hat-trick, Put his cap on it, Rabona, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Stick it in the mixer, Sweeper keeper, Target man, Tiki-taka, Towering header, Trivela, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep. DIVISION TWO 2-0 can be a dangerous score, Asterisk, Back on the grass, Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Blaze over the bar, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Giant-killing, Good leave, Good touch for a big man, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In the dugout, In the hat, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Lackadaisical, Leading the line, Leather a shot, Middle of the park, Needed no second invitation, Nice headache to have, No-look pass, Nutmeg, On their bike, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Prawn sandwich brigade, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Queensbury rules, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Staving off relegation, Steal a march, Straight in the bread basket, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, Tired legs, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Turns on a sixpence, Walk it in, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands.