Discerning a Call to Marriage

Understanding God’s Will – “What am I to do?” The Discernment of God’s Will in Everyday Decisions with Fr. Timothy Gallagher

Fr. Timothy Gallagher and Kris McGregor go into the process of discerning one’s vocation, this time focusing on the call to marriage. They discuss the importance of deepening one’s understanding of marriage as a Christian vocation and the significance of spiritual, human, and Christian formation in this journey. Fr. Gallagher talks about the need for growth in emotional maturity, spiritual life, and prayer, as well as seeking guidance and participating in retreats and community support.

They also touch upon the challenges presented by contemporary cultural conditions in dating and social interactions, highlighting the importance of healing and strengthening oneself before entering into the discernment process. Fr. Gallagher shares insights from St. Ignatius of Loyola’s spiritual exercises, outlining three modes of discernment: clarity beyond doubting, attraction of the heart, and a preponderance of reasons. They illustrate these modes with personal stories and scriptural examples; the importance of trust in God’s providence and seeking guidance from spiritual directors or companions.

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions:

1. Understanding Marriage as a Christian Vocation: How can you deepen your understanding of marriage as a specifically Christian vocation?
2. Emotional and Spiritual Formation: In what areas of your emotional and spiritual life do you feel you need growth or healing to prepare for discerning your vocation?
3. Cultural Challenges in Dating: How do you navigate the challenges presented by contemporary cultural conditions in dating and social interactions as a faithful Catholic?
4. Modes of Discernment: Reflect on times in your life when you have experienced clarity beyond doubting, attraction of the heart, or a preponderance of reasons in discerning God’s will.
5. Trusting God’s Providence: How can you cultivate trust in God’s providence as you discern your vocation, especially in times of uncertainty or struggle?

From The Discernment of God’s Will in Everyday Decisions:

“Three Times in which a Sound and Good Choice May Be Made

The first time is when God Our Lord so moves and attracts the will that, without doubting or being able to doubt, the devout soul follows what is shown to it, as St. Paul and St. Matthew did in following Christ our Lord.

The second time is when sufficient clarity and understanding is received through experience of consolations and desolations, and through experience of discernment of different spirits.

The third time is one of tranquility, when one considers first for what purpose man is born, that is, to praise God our Lord and save his soul, and, desiring this, chooses as a means to this end some life or state within the bounds of the Church, so that he may be helped in the service of his Lord and the salvation of his soul. I said a tranquil time, that is, when the soul is not agitated by different spirits, and uses its natural powers freely and tranquilly.

If the choice is not made in the first or second time, two ways of making it in this third time are given below.”

Father Timothy M. Gallagher, O.M.V., was ordained in 1979 as a member of the Oblates of the Virgin Mary, a religious community dedicated to retreats and spiritual formation according to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.  Fr. Gallagher is featured on the EWTN series “Living the Discerning Life:  The Spiritual Teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola”. For more information on how to obtain copies of Fr. Gallaghers’s various books and audio which are available for purchase, please visit  his  website:   frtimothygallagher.org

For the other episodes in this series check out Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s “Discerning Hearts” page

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