Masking drains your energy

"There's no way you have ADHD." That's what the psychiatrist said to me, right before he laughed out loud. Why? Because I had a PhD, a job as a professor, and a marriage.

In his mind, my "success" canceled out my struggle. That moment was my first lesson in self-advocacy, and it sparked a journey that changed everything.

Ten years later, I'm sharing the 10 things I wish I could go back and tell that version of myself and anyone else navigating a late ADHD diagnosis. Today in episode 348, we're covering:

• Why understanding your brain's need for stimulation, cognitive flexibility, and working memory can transform how you approach daily life with ADHD
• How masking and rejection sensitivity quietly drain your energy and keep you stuck — and what to do about it
• The counterintuitive truth about self-acceptance and why it's the foundation for lasting change

Work With Me:

• Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
• Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
• Learn more about private coaching here
• Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains

Resources From This Episode:

• Learn about Rejection Sensitivity Here
• Learn about ADHD Masking Here
• Learn about Working Memory Here
• Learn How to Deal with ADHD Boredom and Understimulation

More ADHD Resources:

• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
• Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
• Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure info here.

Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!

If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.

1. Go to Apple Podcasts
2. Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
4. Simply tap five stars; that's it!
5. Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!

Chapter Outline

0:00 Dismissed on the Phone: The Laugh That Started It All

1:54 10 Years Later: Birthday Reflection & Why This Episode Matters

6:13 Today's Format: A Letter to My Newly Diagnosed Self (10 Things)

7:57 Falling Asleep & Understimulation

10:52 Meds Help, But Pills Don't Teach Skills

14:04 Cognitive Flexibility: Why Transitions and Plan Changes Hurt

16:47 Notes Aren't 'Cheating': Working Memory, Lectures & the Teleprompter

20:55 The Exhaustion of Masking (and How It Gets Better)

23:19 When People Doubt Your Diagnosis: Trust Your Experience

25:25 Rejection Sensitivity: The Shame Spiral Behind Avoidance

28:07 Knowing Better ≠ Doing Instantly: Give Yourself Time to Change

30:10 Self-Acceptance Is the Real Catalyst for Growth

31:53 Your Emotions Are Not Too Much

33:22 Recap of the 10 Lessons

34:17 Closing: Reflect, Share, and Next Steps