Substance change versus capacity change

Relationships change because people change. In this episode, we explore what it means when someone you love no longer feels like the person you once knew. Using behavioral science, we examine why personality shifts over time, why growth does not always happen in the same direction, and how to decide whether to reconnect, recalibrate, or let go.

[0:00] Understanding Relationship Changes

[7:07] Relationship Changes Over Time

[13:28] Self-Expansion Theory and Michelangelo Phenomenon

[22:08] Growth vs. Escape: What’s Really Driving the Change?

[29:49] How to Navigate Relationship Changes

[34:00] Updating the Story of “Us”

[43:01] The Importance of Compassion

[46:00] Regret, Loss, and What to Do Next

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The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel

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