Kairos versus Kronos: felt time

Have you ever thought about the relationship between time and pleasure? Sex and pleasure are temporal experiences, meaning how we relate to time can impact how frequently we experience pleasure both while we’re having sex, and when we’re not. 

As Philosopher Willam James suggested, time is something we can sense. “A day full of excitement will pass ‘ere we know it.’ On the contrary, a day full of waiting, of unsatisfied desire for change, will seem a small eternity.” 

Our consciousness is like a stream that can include, past, present and future sensations at any given moment. Our perception of time is dependent on our flow of consciousness; whether we are attached to what was, living in the moment, or are in anticipation. 

If we are in a constant state of distraction, experiencing pleasure will be extremely difficult. In a world where pressure on our pace of living and attention is seemingly ever-increasing, connecting with pleasures past, present, and future can be extremely difficult.

These concepts can be seemingly esoteric. But as this week’s guest, embodiment and somatics coach, Euphemia Russell reminds us, by understanding how we relate to time and spaciousness, we’re able to cultivate more pleasure in our lives. 

You might’ve heard Euphemia in our previous episodes. This week, we invited Euphemia back to unpack the themes of their new book, like what a pleasure spectrum is and how to cultivate pleasure and connection as individuals, and as a community. Euphemia talks about exploring the depths and boundaries of your pleasure. We also answer some guest questions about embodiment. 

Euphemia grapples with any of the harder-to-grasp elements of sex and sexuality and shines a light on the importance of reconceiving pleasure as not just something we experience during sex, but something that is available to us in unexpected moments.

You can find Euphemia’s book, Slow Pleasure here.

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