Separating guilt from shame

In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Brendan Mahan—host of the ADHD Essentials podcast and author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful (available for pre-order now!). Brendan is a former educator, mental health counselor, and one of the most hopeful voices in the ADHD space. And today? We’re diving deep into emotional dysregulation, shame, burnout, and what it really takes to move forward when your brain feels like the obstacle.

We talk about why ADHDers build a “wall of awful,” how repeated failure shapes our emotional responses, and what actually works to get past it. If you’ve ever struggled to start, found yourself stuck in procrastination, or spiraled into shame after a mistake—this episode is going to give you language, tools, and most importantly, hope. Press play and let’s unpack it together.

 Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., MS., hosts the ADHD Essentials Podcast, and is the author of “Overcoming the Wall of Awful©” due out in Fall of 2026 from the Balance/Hachette.A former educator and mental health counselor, Brendan helps individuals, families, and organizations manage neurodiverse challenges by blending education, collaborative problem-solving, and accountability with compassion, humor, and a focus on strengths and growth.Brendan is on the board of the Men’s ADHD Support Group, and the organizing committee for the International Conference on ADHD. He has featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, LinkedIn, Understood, How to ADHD, and ADDitude.

Episode Highlights:

[1:05] - Introducing Brendan Mahan and his new book Overcoming the Wall of Awful

[2:42] - What it’s really like to write a book with ADHD (and why collaboration was key)

[7:17] - Burnout, anxiety, and the difference between moving away from something vs. toward something

[7:47] - What the “Wall of Awful” actually is—and why we all have one

[9:31] - Guilt vs. shame: “I made a mistake” vs. “I am the mistake”

[14:22] - Emotional dysregulation, the amygdala hijack, and finding the pause

[25:43] - The 5 ways we respond to the Wall of Awful (and which ones actually work)

[28:16] - Climbing the wall vs. putting a door in it: practical ADHD strategies

[34:04] - Why emotional dysregulation is at the core of the Wall of Awful

[35:32] - The psychology of change (pre-contemplation → maintenance → relapse)

[37:55] - Why 10% better beats dramatic transformation every time

[40:56] - Brendan’s advice: define “done” and make your goals smaller than you think

Connect with Brendan Mahan:

Pre-order Overcoming the Wall of Awful (available September 1, 2026)

ADHD Essentials – Website & social media

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