Why people hide purchases and debt

Learn about money dealbreakers in dating, then how to plan ahead for assisted living and Medicaid costs.

First, hosts Sean Pyles and Elizabeth Ayoola dig into a new dating dealbreakers study with NerdWallet spokesperson and credit card writer Sara Rathner. They unpack why “financial infidelity” can feel like a relationship ender, what people are most likely to hide, and how to start money conversations earlier without turning the third date into an audit. They also share ways to talk about spending, expectations, and values so you can spot incompatibilities before big commitments.

Then, personal finance Nerd Kate Ashford (a certified senior advisor) helps answer a listener's question about caring for an aging parent and budgeting for senior living. She discusses how assisted living costs can vary dramatically by location, what’s typically included in base fees vs add-ons, and how “buy-in” communities like continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs) compare with standard monthly-pay models. They also walk through key planning moves if a future nursing home stay is possible, including what to know about Medicaid being state-run, where to start researching benefits, and how to prepare for the paperwork and timelines.

0:00 Who will care for you in old age?

0:52 Dating money dealbreakers: debt and financial lies

3:33 Why couples hide purchases and spending

5:59 Rebuilding trust after financial infidelity

8:14 Dealbreakers: tipping, splitting dates, savings

13:16 Talking money early: what’s a red flag?

18:02 No-spend challenge: Brick and cash-only

20:35 Friction hacks to curb impulse spending

21:49 Listener question: budgeting for senior care

23:40 Assisted living costs and what drives prices

31:02 Monthly vs buy-in CCRCs and refund rules

33:34 How long care lasts: model best/worst cases

38:00 Medicaid basics: eligibility, look-back, who can help

40:21 Final tips for families planning senior living

NerdWallet Survey: One in 10 Americans Would Never Date Someone with Credit Card Debt https://www.nerdwallet.com/finance/studies/data-undateable-debt 

Cost of Long Term Care by State | Cost of Care Report | Carescout https://www.carescout.com/cost-of-care 

Eldercare Locator https://eldercare.acl.gov/home 

Medicaid.gov: The Official U.S. Government Site for Medicaid and CHIP Services | Medicaid https://www.medicaid.gov/ 

Medicaid Planning Assistance – Helping Americans obtain the Medicaid long term care they require https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/ 

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