Why You’re Afraid to Open Up | Leslie John
The Art of Charm
Best first-date structure and activities
AJ recommends multi-part, low-pressure dates and experiential activities to accelerate closeness naturally.
Harvard Business School professor Leslie John joins AJ and Johnny to unpack why we systematically get vulnerability wrong.
We obsess over the risks of sharing and ignore the cost of staying silent. From dating profiles and first impressions to leadership, feedback, and negotiation, Leslie explains how to decide what to reveal, when to reveal it, and how to frame it so it builds trust instead of regret.
If you’ve ever worried about TMI — or held back and felt distance grow — this episode gives you a smarter way to think about disclosure.
Chapters
00:00 – Why we misjudge vulnerability
08:00 – Emotional vocabulary and instant connection
18:00 – The cost of silence vs. the risk of sharing
28:00 – Dating profiles and the “less is more” trap
40:00 – Leadership vulnerability without losing authority
52:00 – A simple 2x2 framework for disclosure decisions
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vulnerability, disclosure, emotional intelligence, communication skills, leadership trust, dating psychology, social connection, feedback conversations, negotiation skills, emotional vocabulary, decision making, relationship building, psychological safety, transparency vs vulnerability
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