Even if you’re not a college basketball fan, you may have heard about this incredible upset in 2018, when top-ranked University of Virginia was defeated by University of Maryland-Baltimore County in the opening round of the NCAA Tournament. It was the first time in the tournament’s 80 year history that a number 16 seed beat a number one seed. Virginia had been the favorite to win the entire 68-team tournament, and then the biggest of underdogs came in and surprised everyone, pulling off one of the greatest victories in sports history.
The Virginia loss ruined millions of brackets and could very well have ruined one man’s career. As one local Virginia newspaper put it, Virginia and head coach Tony Bennett “will be remembered in years, perhaps decades, to come, for becoming the first No. 1 seed...to lose to a No. 16 seed. That stain,” the article continued, “does not easily, if ever, wash away.”
Maybe you’ve experienced a loss or a setback like that in your life. Maybe it’s worrying about that kind of failure that keeps you up at night--and keeps you out of big-time moments. God, we think, I hope that never happens to me. But that’s not how Bennett saw it. He decided to accept it—to take the hit. Because that’s all you can do, if you want to play on the biggest stages, at the highest levels, and test yourself against the best.. As he explained in a press conference after the game:
That's life. We talk about it all the time...If you play this game, and you step into the arena, this stuff can happen...And all those who compete take that on. And so we'll accept it.
That’s the first part. The Stoics knew you had acquiesce to misfortune, to the reality of life. If you play the game, sometimes you’ll lose. Sometimes you’ll lose big. What matters is what you do next. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, perhaps after one of his failures, “If you accept the obstacle and work with what you’re given, an alternative will present itself—another piece of what you’re trying to assemble.”
The second part is beyond acceptance. It’s amor fati. It’s deciding to love what happened, to realize it was meant for you. Because it’s teaching you something. It’s leading you somewhere and preparing you for something...if you let it. For Coach Bennett, that was winning the national championship the following year. That’s right, Coach Bennett and his University of Virginia Cavaliers went from being the basketball world’s biggest goats in 2018, to “The GOAT” in 2019. As Coach Bennett explained in a recent speech:
"All of the ridicule, all of the criticism, all the humility, all the things that happened, at that moment, it was crystal clear that it was all worth it...If you learn to use failure, suffering, adversity right, it will buy you a ticket to a place you couldn't have gone any other way."
Acceptance. Amor Fati. That’s the recipe, that’s the right way to use adversity. That’s life. It’s buying us a ticket to a place we wouldn’t have gone any other way, but now that we’re here, let us get the most out of it.
Accept it. Love it. Use it. It’ll take you somewhere great.
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